Umbara Arc Parodies
by Bluesaber3
Summary: Parodies of the Umbara arc in the style of A Not-So-Normal Week.
1. Chapter 1

**If any of you read the Mortis parodies I did in NSNW2 and wished I'd do more episode parodies, you're in for a treat! This is the Umbara arc parodies! Parodies of all 4 Umbara episodes in the style of Not-So-Normal Week.**

**Enjoy! Up first, "Darkness on Umbara", or as I like to call it, "Sparkles on Arabmu"...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, or the Umbara arc! I just love making things hilarious xD**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: You will see in these parodies a character named "Hot Cakes". There's a story behind that... XD Ok, so in the Clone Wars there is a clone named "Hardcase" as you probably know. Well, when I heard his name the first time, my siblings and I thought his name was "Hot Cakes". So, since this IS a parody after all... I decided I just HAD to use it xDDDD**

**Umbara Arc Parody 1: Sparkles on Arabmu**

Message thingy that's always at the beginning: "The first step toward destruction of metal is rust."

"War in the pajama region! As Separatists tighten their grip over random but pink supply routes, the Republic launches a donut into a ghost to control the sparkly Arabmu system. Republic forces smash like pumpkins through the Separatist blockade in an effort to claim the sparkly world…"

Anakin, Obi-Wan, R2-D2, Rex, Cody, Fives, Hot Cakes, and a bunch of other clones whose names I don't remember where standing around a holographic image.

Obi-Wan was briefing everyone on the mission. "Masters Krell and Tiin will be supporting my fairies in the south-"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, WE'RE NOT FAIRIES!" Cody shouted at the top of his lungs, and he ran away crying.

Everyone was silent for three point nine seconds. Obi-Wan continued. "Anakin will come in from the north, and take out the elephants who live here. It is im…per…ative… -whatever that means- that we capture the capitol city as quickly as possible. Because if we don't, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEE!"

"Our biggest problem is gonna be that there aren't any unicorns on the planet," said Anakin. "And because there aren't any unicorns on the planet, they can't save us with their wonderful magical powers of fruit and pastries. The Arabmuans have aligned themselves with the evil fish, which are also rocks. But _not _frogs, that's an insult you know. But anyway, they're heavily armed with duct tape guns and pies." He turned to Fives. "ARC trooper Fives will be assisting my units on the…" he lowered his voice and whispered in a dramatic tone that made everyone wonder what it was, "the _special assignment_."

All the clones "ooh-ed" and "ahh-ed".

"I'm ready to do my part, General Skywalker. …Right after I have my green tea. I need my tea to function, you know," Fives said. He turned to Rex. "Nice to have you on board. Just like old times, Rex."

Rex sniffed. "The olden days, where we had cowboys and reindeer!" He started crying dramatically.

Everyone ignored him.

"Remember, Anakin, Cody and I will be twelve clicks to your south," said Obi-Wan.

"Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click." Anakin counted on his fingers and had two extra which he had to count on his toes.

"We're counting on you to take out those fighters. I'm afraid the capitol will never surrender, because they're a bunch of meanies!" Obi-Wan cried.

Anakin sighed a little. "Does my battalion have to do _everything_? I mean, I just mopped the floor, did the dishes, cleaned YOUR ROOM, did your history homework, ate a sandwich, brushed my unicorn, made a couple tye-die t-shirts, made three paper mache parrots, washed Ahsoka's pickle collection with 100% natural corn oil, wrote out thank you cards from my last birthday party, fried a chicken, set the house on fire, hotwired the engine of this ship we're on so it'll make me toast, bought duct tape at the craft store, made a parade float out of nothing but post-it notes, wrote a book on how to secretly marry a senator, ate some waffles, went to Sweden, did a couple puzzles, found blue butterflies, brushed my hair, formulated my own recipe for cherry soda, started a blog, sharpened my lightsaber… wait… um… yeah, sang a couple of songs, took a camping trip, moved to Teth, entered a contest for cool people, bought a pet lizard, and ate a piece of cheese. My battalion does EVERYTHING! Including interior decorating!"

"You seem to always volunteer," Obi-Wan replied.

Obi-Wan walked away and slipped on some soda that Hot Cakes spilled. "OUCH!"

"Sorry, General!" Hot Cakes called.

Anakin began boarding the gunship.

"Alright, let's go!" said Rex, and they all boarded the gunship.

The gunships flew out of the cruiser and towards the wonderful sparkly planet. Anakin hoped there weren't unicorns on the planet because if there were, he would not want to fight them.

Flying quickly through the sky and avoiding random yarn balls flying at them, they soon were near the sparkly surface of Arabmu.

"There's a lot of surface fire," said Rex. "We'll have to throw Frisbees at them."

"They ain't got nothing we can't handle, Sir. I've played tons of video games like this," said Hot Cakes.

A gunship blew up beside theirs.

"LET'S ROAST MARSHMALLOWS!" cried Anakin.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Ya hanging in there?" Rex asked a clone.

"NO! I NEED MY MOMMY!" The other clone started screaming and crying.

"Dude…" Rex shook his head.

"General Skywalker, I turned the lights out. It's bed time! Well anyways the night vision is having a hard time with all this spaaaarkly stuff, I hope we don't overshoot the landing sight!" said the clone pilot.

"Just get us as close as you can without hitting any innocent unicorns," Anakin replied.

They continued flying for a couple more split seconds.

"Time to lock and loooaaad!" Hot Cakes exclaimed. "But wait, if I lock my gun, I can't use it. And if I load it, it can't be locked. And if it's loaded then how would it even _be _locked? I'M SO CONFUSED!"

They flew even closer to the surface.

A clone climbed onto a AT-RT walker. "Well, not that this isn't fun, but I'm going skydiving. SEE YA!" He jumped out of the back with the AT-RT walker and found that he was only about 6 or 8 feet from the ground. "Lamest. Skydiving trip. Ever."

After more of the AT-RT walkers landed, green laser fire began flying towards them.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Fives exclaimed.

The weird people with the strange helmets and the clones began fighting against each other.

Soon, the gunships landed and Anakin (along with the other clones) began fighting as well.

But the strange helmet-ed people, who we will call flamingos, fought back with toasters and elastic hair bands.

"GO, GO, GO, GO!" The clones shouted, throwing frying pans and pie at the flamingos.

"The flamingos have a fairy castle at seventy nine degrees north-south," Rex said to Anakin.

"Good. We can use it as a stage! I want to sing to the universe!" Anakin twirled around in circles, slicing through fifty flamingos at once.

"Keep moving! We have to claim that castle! The other battalions are counting on us!" Rex ran forward, smacking flamingos with his frying pan.

The flamingos were also firing sparkly electricity blasts from their little machines that happened to look like pointed things.

"Don't spread too far, the enemy could have the whole place rigged with chocolate marshmallow bunnies!" Anakin exclaimed.

"I can't even see the enemy!"

"That's because they're using invisibility cloaks! Duh!" said Rex.

There were more explosions and clones flying across the sky.

"Everybody take cover!"

Everyone continued running.

A couple clones stepped over something.

"It's just a leaf, keep moving, Hot Cakes!"

"No, no, it's a spider! It's a spider!" Hot Cakes cried.

The other clone looked and saw that it was a giant spider. He brushed it off and it flew into oblivion. "Heh, leaf! See, what did I tell you?"

They kept walking.

But it _was _a spider. A giant spider. And it began attacking them. It had a long tongue, and fairy wings.

It ate a clone and continued attacking the other clones.

But then Fives through a ball of fairy dust at it and it died instantly.

"Nice work, Fives!" Hot Cakes said.

"Thanks. Hot stuff, right?"

"Actually, it's Hot Cakes."

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Cool."

"Totally."

So they all kept walking for a while, and eventually came to some little trenches in the ground. All the clones were lining up in there with their weapons ready.

Anakin looked through some little sparkly pink unicorn-shaped binoculars. "See, this isn't actually a unicorn because it has two lenses which means it's a two horned unicorn which defeats the purpose so a real unicorn is a telescope which should really be called a uni-oculars because then it'd be a unicorn vision and it helps to spot unicorns."

"Dude…" Rex looked at him strangely.

Anakin ignored him and looked through the binoculars, seeing a bunch of explosions.

"General Kenobi's battalion, sir?" Rex asked.

"They're pushing towards the castle. We'll need to move out as soon as the men have had their pancake soup," Anakin replied.

"All platoons have reported in, General!" said a clone whose name I didn't catch.

"Get some rest," Anakin said. " "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"

"Thank you, general, but I'm fine. I HAD COFFEE!"

"The general is giving you an order, whatever your name is," said Rex. "You need to have an easier name. Can I call you Freddie?"

"Yes, Captain, sir!" said "Freddie".

"Good. Now, that was an order."

"Of course, sir!" Freddie walked away.

"He's wound tight, but he's loyal," Rex said.

"Like a unicorn," Anakin added with sparkly eyes.

"Maybe… back in the day."

"With the cowboys and reindeer?"

"YEAH!" Rex started crying.

Meanwhile… in the shadows… a flamingo who we will name Harry was watching the clones. He set out a little robotic thingy that looked like a mix between a fish and a scorpion, so therefore I will call it Scorpifish.

Scorpifish scurried along the ground and came up to a clone who was resting. He electrocuted the clone. (BAD SCORPIFISH!)

"What is that?" cried one of the clones, beginning to shoot at it.

"Look out!" exclaimed another.

Scorpifish avoided lots of laser fire and continued going.

Flamingos now began attacking.

"Ambush! They're behind us!" a clone exclaimed. Then he got shot. Poor guy.

The flamingoes continued attacking. Scorpifish electrocuted another clone.

"The enemy's circled behind us," said Fives, putting on his helmet.

"Everybody, we must defend our backs!"

Anakin put his lightsaber behind his back. "LIKE THIS? LIKE THIS?"

"Yeah like that, whatever."

More shooting took place.

Scorpifish electrocuted another clone before Anakin finally destroyed it with his lightsaber. "DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE!" he screamed.

"We're holding an air strike on the enemy positions!" Rex said to him.

"Let's hope they're not to busy helping Obi-Wan," said Anakin. "'Cause trust me, that guy can need a LOT of help sometimes. It's like, dude, be a man!"

"There's an opening to our south," Rex said, "I recommend we move all platoons into a magical fairy land and play video games in case the air strike overshoots."

"Good thinking, Rex," Anakin replied. "Everyone, move out now!"

So they all moved out, Anakin deflecting laser fire and running. Eventually, they all stopped.

"All here, sir," said Rex.

"Stay covered!" Anakin said. "We have to hold the position!"

Hot Cakes took out an umbrella. "In case it rains cupcakes," he remarked.

"Are you sure those bombers are coming?" A clone asked.

Everyone was silent.

"Rejection," he murmured.

Suddenly a couple butterflies flew peacefully across the field. When they passed by, everything was obliterated into dust.

"Good ol' Oddball. Always on target!"

"Glad we got off that ridge," Anakin said, looking at the fireballs. "We could be fairy dust!"

"Yeah…"

"Heh, that'll teach em! Maybe they'll actually _succeed _in algebra class this year," said Hot Cakes.

…

Not too soon after that, everyone was waiting around, when a gunship flew over and landed.

A weird looking Jedi with 4 arms jumped out and walked awkwardly towards them. "DUDE! IS THIS LIKE, THE GAME STORE?" he asked very loudly.

"General Krell's here?" asked a clone.

"Something big must be going on…" said Fives.

"Master Krell," Anakin said to him, "my thanks for the air support. Of course, the unicorns could've taken care of it. BUT THEY ALL DIED!"

"WHAAA?" Krell said, having no indication that he understood a word of anything Anakin had said.

"But that's not the reason for your visit…?" Anakin trailed off.

"WHAT? OH, NO. THE COUNCIL HAS ORDERED YOU BACK TO… CORUS… CAN'T. BECAUSE IT CAN'T DO ANYTHING. _GET IT_? HAHAHAHA." Krell continued to talk in an overly loud annoying voice.

"What? Why?" Anakin asked, shocked.

"A REQUEST WAS MADE BY THE SUUUUPREME CHANCELOR. YOU KNOW, THE OLD DUDE. WHO RUNS THE SENATE? ACTUALLY AN EVIL SITH LORD? YOU MAY KNOW HIM."

"…"

"THE COUNCIL'S LIKE, MAKING YOU DO IT, SO LIKE, LEAVE, DUDE." Krell pushed Anakin onto the gunship and didn't let him say another word.

All the clones stared awkwardly.

"WELL, FOLKS! I'M IN CHARGE NOW! NOW GO DO THE FIGHTING BECAUSE I'M GOING TO WATCH _MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC _ON MY PHONE." Krell got out his phone and started watching "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic".

Rex looked at him. "….Weeeell…. Your reputation precedes you, General. It is an honor to serve you."

"WHAT?"

"I _said,_ it is an honor to serve you."

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, IT IS AN HONOR TO SERVE YOU!"

"OH. YAY!" Krell looked up from the show he was watching for a moment. "HAVE LIKE, ALL PLATOONS READY TO SET OUT. THAT IS ALL. DUDE I TOTALLY LOVE THIS SHOW!"

Rex, along with all the other clones, stared at him.

…

Soon, they were all walking. The AT-RT walkers were in front, one of the guys complaining about wanting to skydive, Krell was behind them, making pancakes on his portable griddle, and the clones were all walking behind him.

"DUDES! THIS ISN'T TRAINING! RUN LIKE THE WIND! I TOTALLY LOVE SOAP!" Krell screamed.

"The, uh, new general sure has a way with words," said Fives.

"He's just trying to keep us on schedule…" said Rex.

"Uh huh," Fives said, not really believing him.

"Either way, he's in charge. Just give him respect and we'll get along fine."

"How can I do that, he's an idiot!"

Suddenly two flying things flew out of the sky.

"AAAAAAH!" Krell screamed. "GET THEM! GET THEM! I HATE BUGS! I HATE THEM! I WANT MY MOMMY!"

So the clones shot at it, but they couldn't defeat it because the script says Krell was supposed to kill it with his lightsabers. So they didn't defeat it and the animals flew away and left them alone.

"LET'S LIKE, KEEP MOVING!" Krell exclaimed, and he skipped down the path.

…

A while later, they were still walking, and Krell was watching "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" on his phone again.

"We've been walking for weeks!" A clone wailed miserably.

"It's been twelve hours, dude," Rex said to him.

"Well still! We need to rest!"

Rex nodded, and walked up to Krell.

"General Krell, the top of this ridge has an invisible hotel on it. It would be a perfect place to rest," said Rex.

"THE MEN LIKE, DON'T NEED REST! THEY NEED COFFEE! WHERE I COME FROM, WE DON'T EVEN _SLEEP _WE JUST LIVE ON COFFEE!" Krell exclaimed.

"But Sir…"

"COFFEE DUDE. USE IT. IT WORKS. SEE?" Krell looked at him crazily. "BESIDES, MY STRATEGY IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S **EVER**. I'M JUST AWESOME LIKE THAT."

"Sir, this place is extremely hostile, despite the difficulty of the conditions, the battalion is making good time. We have magic watches."

"BUT LIKE, I'M IN CHARGE HERE. SO LIKE, WE'RE STILL GOING. C'MON. MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE." Krell kept walking.

So everyone kept moving anyway.

"I wanna go skydiving!" The AT-RT clone whined.

"Shut up," said Rex.

…

Soon, they arrived at their position.

"Sir, we're ready to bring our forward platoons in for a magical attack on the castle's fairy guards," said Rex.

"DUDE, I'M CHANGING _YOUR _PLAN," said Krell, "YEAH 'CAUSE WE'RE ATTACKING ON THE MAIN ROAD! TADA! I TOTALLY BLEW YOUR MIND! I'M AWESOME!"

"But, Sir, General Skywalker's plan was to surprise them. Y'know, like a birthday party. If we come in from the main route, they're likely to totally destroy us!"

"LIKE, CHANGE OF PLANS, DUDE. LIKE I SAID, DUDE."

"With all due respect, General, we don't know what we're up against. General Skywalker just hoped it wasn't unicorns," Rex said.

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME? I'M TOO AWESOME FOR THAT! I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!" Krell turned away and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sir…"

"SHH! I'M NOT LISTENING!"

So Rex left.

They all began walking down the main road.

"Why aren't we sticking to the awesome plan?" asked a clone. Maybe it was Freddie.

"We can do this, let's take em!" exclaimed Hot Cakes.

"To where?"

"DISNEYLAND!"

"Yeah leave it to Hot Cakes to dive in head first," said Fives. "The general's new plan is reckless."

"You ever think that maybe the general knows what he's doing?"

"Nope, he's an idiot."

"Right…"

"I know _you _think this is a bad idea," Fives said to Rex.

"I… raised my objection to General Krell's plan but he couldn't hear me over that… pony show… so this is it."

"But what if he's wrong?" Fives asked. "Then what?"

"This isn't the time for a debate."

"YEAH, IT'S TEA TIME!" Hot Cakes cried.

"Right now we have to stay alert," said Rex.

They walked onto the road.

"It's too quiet…" said a clone.

They continued walking… and soon, the tiles on the road began lighting up as their were stepped on. One of them blew up. Then another one.

The clones got down to the ground. "No body move!"

Rex tested one which he knew wouldn't blow up and saw that not only did it light up, but it made a small music note. He did a couple in a sequence and it began to make some sort of a song.

"It's a dance floor! Do the right dance and get points! Step on the wrong tile and blow up!" Rex exclaimed.

So all the clones got up and started doing epic dance moves, the combined steps on the tiles creating awesome dance music.

"YAHOOO!" cried Hot Cakes, doing some really cool dance moves.

"THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!" Fives exclaimed.

The clones all continued dancing epically. Then one of them fell and a giant electricity ball fell out of the sky.

A loud voice said in a robotic tone: "GAME OVER." And flamingoes began attacking from behind.

"Just keep dancing!" Rex shouted.

So they kept dancing, and when they hit certain tiles, they got power ups and some flamingoes were destroyed.

Hot Cakes got a power up that turned a couple flamingoes into rocks.

They fought harder and another electricity ball came out of the sky.

"LEVEL 2."

"I think Hot Cakes made them mad…" said Fives (I think).

"But we got to level 2!" Hot Cakes exclaimed. "If we can get to level 10 we'll be at the castle!"

The battle got harder, and the clones kept dancing.

"LEVEL 3."

The flamingoes attacked even more fiercely.

"KEEP DANCING!" Fives shouted.

"We have no cover!" Rex cried, still dancing and destroying flamingoes.

"We can do this!" Hot Cakes exclaimed.

"Let's fall back!" Rex said. "If we can draw them out, we can beat them with our epic dance moves!"

"If we can see them, our dance moves are OBVIOUSLY better," said Hot Cakes.

"All squads, fall back now!" Rex shouted.

"This can't be good…" said a clone. Maybe it was Freddie. The world will never know.

So they all ran backwards down the dance floor, doing the chicken dance.

From a distance, Krell and another clone were watching.

Krell's phone rang. He picked it up. "OH, HEY BABY. ….. YEAH, I'M IN BATTLE… NO, I'M NOT BUSY…."

A clone looked at the other clones through binoculars.

Krell looked over. "HEY, HANG ON A SECOND," he said into the phone, on which he was talking to his girlfriend. "WHAT ARE THEY DOING?"

The clone looking through the binoculars was silent for a moment. "…The chicken dance, Sir. They're doing the chicken dance."

"WHAT? GET IN THERE AND LIKE TOTALLY SAVE THEM. THERE ARE MUCH BETTER DANCES THAN THAT. LIKE THIS ONE." Krell waved his arms around. "I'M A BIRD! I'M A BIIIRD!"

The other clones ran over to help the others.

The clones jumped over an obstacle and turned around.

"LEVEL 4."

Epic dance music began to play and all the clones did all the best dance moves they could.

"WE CAN DO THIS!"

Soon, all the flamingoes began to run away.

"They're falling back!" Hot Cakes exclaimed.

Krell walked up to them.

"DUDES! I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND WHAT DO YOU DO? THE _CHICKEN DANCE_? THERE ARE MUCH BETTER DANCES THAN THAT! DO YOU HAVE LIKE, A MALFUNCTION?" Krell shouted very, very loudly at Rex. "WE CAN'T TAKE THE CASTLE NOW! THE ENEMY HAS LIKE, CONTROL AND STUFF! THIS ENTIRE OPERATION IS LIKE TOTALLY A FAILURE! BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"General Krell," said Fives, "in case you haven't noticed, our dance moves totally ROCKED, and Captain Rex just saved this platoon! Surely you won't _fail _to recognize that!"

"DUDE, LIKE TOTALLY, STAND. DOWN." Krell said, igniting one of his lightsabers, which was hot pink. He held it up to Fives's neck.

"Sir, yes, Sir," Fives said slowly. "Oh hey look, a pony."

Krell whirled around. "WHERE?"

"Sir," said Rex, "if I may address your accusation, I followed _your _orders, even in the face of a plan that was my opinion severely flawed. Like French fries. But they taste soooooo good- a plan that cost us _men_, NOT CLONES. _MEN._ As sure as it is my duty to remain loyal, it is also my duty to protect those men."

"DUDE, YOU'RE LIKE, ANNOYING. AND USUALLY PEOPLE LIKE, SAY THAT TO ME! I KNOW I'M NOT LIKE, LIKE SKYWALKER AND STUFF, BECAUSE HE LIKE, WALKS ON THE SKY, BUT I'M TOTALLY AWESOME. AND MY METHODS LIKE TOTALLY WORK AND I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE, DO ANYTHING! BUT YOU'RE LIKE LOYAL TO YOUR MEN AND STUFF. THAT'S COOL. WELL, I'M GONNA LIKE, GO MAKE PAPER BUTTERFLIES." Krell walked away.

Fives walked over to Rex. "I think he almost complimented you."

"Hard to tell."

"INCOMING!" A clone shouted as a couple electricity balls fell out of the sky.

The flamingoes were attacking again.

"The flamingoes must have regrouped for a dance battle rematch! We must hold this position!" Rex exclaimed, starting to dance again.

"Do you still think Krell plans to take the castle using this strategy?" Fives asked.

"I dunno. I'll get back to you on that if we survive this battle," said Rex. "Even though I know our dance moves are more epic."

So they continued to dance and fight against the flamingoes.

…

To be continued…

**Up next, my parody of "The General"! Stay tuned! :DDDD**


	2. Chapter 2

**SO SORRY this took me so long! Thank you to my slightly annoying sister who gets on me whenever I procrastinate. and LOOK. i DID IT! 8D**

**Umbara Arc Parody 2: The Jerk (couldn't think of a better name, and hey, it fits who the title was originally describing XD)**

Message thingy that's always at the beginning: "The path of ignoring cleaning is guided by fear."

"Turning the tide (what is this, full moon?) as Separatist bright lemon signs expand, Republic forced invade a key planet, the sparkly world of Arabmu. In the midst of helping Obi-Wan Kenobi's fairies- (edited by Cody: WE'RE NOT FAIRIES!) conquer the Arabmuan castle, Anakin Skywalker is called away to have a tea party. His battalion is temporarily placed under the command of Jedi General Pong Krell, an annoying and weird jerk. Krell's reckless strategy forced Captain Rex to dance with his men in an epic dance battle…"

As pies and electricity pancakes exploded all over the place, Captain Rex and his men were fighting the giant parrot shaped ships that the Arabmuans liked to fly. They liked flying them because it made the real parrots look small.

"We have got to move before those parrots come back!" Rex exclaimed.

"Rex, Rex, over here! OVER HERE! I found a cupcake!"

Rex and his men ran over. "Jesse, you take the right flank, Freddie, take the left flank!"

They all ran and continued shooting.

A clone who was laying on the ground was being dragged away. "BUT I LIIIKE CUPCAKES!" he cried.

"You're gonna be ok, buddy. This'll ease the pain" and the medic clone sprinkled fairy dust on his head.

"I'm a fairy!" The other clone looked excited.

"Yeah good, keep thinking that."

As the clones were still fighting, Obi-Wan contacted Krell, who was watching the clones fight.

"The castle is too fortified," said Obi-Wan, "so I'm gonna send magic fairies and candy there. We need your battalion to help us with that."

"THEIR RESISTANCE, IS LIKE, GREATER THAN WE THOUGHT. WE'RE LIKE, HOLDING OUR GROUND AT THE MOMENT. LIKE, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? DOES IT MEAN I HAVE TO LIKE, GRAB THE GROUND OR SOMETHING?" Krell replied.

"We found a shopping mall to the west, it is re-supplying the castle's defenses."

"Incoming, incoming!" a clone shouted, and something exploded.

"If you capture that shopping mall it will sever the castle's supply lines, allowing the rest of our forces to move in," Obi-Wan told him.

"I'LL LIKE, SEE TO IT THAT THE MALL IS LIKE, PLACED UNDER OUR CONTROL. I TOTALLY LIKE, WANT TO SEE IF THERE'S A VIDEO GAME PLACE THERE THAT LIKE, HAS A PONY GAME!"

"Remember, General Krell, the _entire _invasion depends on your battalion."

Krell looked at the comlink one last time, then turned it off. "LIKE, CAPTAIN REX, HAVE LIKE, THE COORDINATES MAPPED AND STUFF, AND LIKE, ALL THE TROOPS READY TO MOVE OUT, LIKE IMMEDIATELY AND STUFF."

"Yes, General," said Rex as Krell walked away.

…

The battalion walked along, and eventually came to a cliff-like place overlooking the shopping mall.

Rex looked through some binoculars. "There's a mall there alright, and it's heavily guarded. At least three parking lots, plus mall security people."

"WE'LL LIKE, ADVANCE ALONG THIS CENTRAL… HOLE THINGY AND ENGAGE THEM IN LIKE, A FULL FORWARD ASSAULT!" Krell exclaimed.

"The 'hole thingy' is narrow, Sir; we'll only be able to move our platoons in single squads. Perhaps a closer look will tell us if there is a more secure route," said Rex.

"LIKE, OBI-WAN AND THE OTHER BATTALIONS ARE LIKE, HOLDING OFF THE ENEMY RIGHT NOW, WHILE THEY LIKE WAIT FOR US TO LIKE, DESTROY THIS MALL. WE LIKE, DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO THIS 'SAFELY'. BESIDES, MY PLANS ARE LIKE, ALWAYS BETTER!"

One of the other clones raised his hand.

"YES? YOU IN THE BACK."

The clone stepped forward. "General, sir, where do you get all your ideas for carrying out your plans the way you do?"

Krell's eyes got all big and sparkly. "I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD, THEY COUNCIL ME, THEY UNDERSTAND. THEY TALK TO ME… _THEY TALK TO ME!_"

Everyone was silent for five minutes straight.

"ANYWAYS LET'S MOOOVE OUT!" Krell walked away.

…

The clones where down in the gorge (or "hole thingy")

"Alright, listen up," said Rex, taking off his helmet. "We're going to assemble the squads into two divisions. The pink people and the purple people. Who wants to be purple?"

"ME!"

"MEEE!"

"ME ME ME ME ME!"

"ME!"

"Not EVERYONE can be purple," Rex said, face palming. "Anyway, we'll move straight up this gorge, with the mall on the far side."

"The casualties are going to be high," a clone (I believe it was the medic clone) said.

"Is Krell trying to get us killed?" Another asked.

Jesse spoke up. "You know, I wasn't sure that Krell was crazy before-"

"You sure about that?"

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because now, I'm positive!"

"We had to retreat from our epic dance battle because of his flawed strategy, now THIS?" Fives exclaimed.

"I dunno, IT COULD BE FUN!" Hot Cakes said excitedly.

"Well I, for one, agree with the General's plan," said one clone. Maybe it was Freddie. "We're running out of time and this is our best option!"

"But Krell's a complete idiot!"

"I think he's actually a fairy from Mars."

"What's Mars?"

Rex walked closer to his group. "A few of General Skywalker's plans seemed random too, but they worked."

"Yeah but General Skywalker is usually leading us up in the front like a parade with his unicorns! Not bringing up the rear like General Krell. A full forward assault would leave us too exposed! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Fives cried.

There was a lot of mumbling between the clones.

"Fives," Rex said, calling Fives aside. "It would help if you ease their minds, you know, give them some tea, let them play video games-"

"Oh you mean coax them into another one of Krell's suicide missions? We lost a lot of men last time."

"Krell may do things differently but he _is _effective in getting them done. He's a recognized war hero," said Rex.

"He may've had some victories, but have you seen his casualty numbers? EVERYBODY DIES!"

Rex sighed a little. "That's the price of war, Fives. We're soldiers. We have a duty to follow orders, and if we must, lay down our lives for victory." He turned to walk away.

Fives grabbed his arm. "Do you really believe that? I DON'T WANNA DIEEE."

"I honor my code." Rex paused for a moment. "That's what I believe."

…

A few clones were on the ground on another little cliff thing. Rex looked through the binoculars. "Is everyone clear on the plan?" he asked. "Hot stuff?"

"It's _Hot Cakes, _how many times to I have to tell you people? Yeah, I'm ready."

"Fives? DO YOU READ ME DUDE." Rex looked at him.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Alright, get in your groups. Let's move out!"

Rex, Fives, and Hot Cakes got into their groups and began walking. They walked some more, and some more.

"Everybody stay alert. AND DON'T DIE!" Fives exclaimed.

They all continued walking.

A couple weird animals flew over them.

"They look spooked…" said one clone.

"Yeah, malls are scary."

Suddenly the entire ground shook violently.

"WHAT IS THAT WHAT IS THAT? AAAHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Fives screamed.

"I wanted to go skydiving," the AT-RT clone complained.

Then suddenly a giant thing that looked like a worm burst out from underneath the ground.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN SKYDIVING!"

"Blast it!" A clone cried, and Hot Cakes began firing rapidly at it, but the shields were too strong.

They all backed up as the worm-like machine fired a bunch of green lasers at them.

Of course maybe if the clone with the imaginary tank wasn't busy eating yogurt with crackers in it, it might've gone better.

The AT-RT clone got blown up. Poor guy, he'll never get to skydive again.

They continued shooting at it but it just wouldn't blow up.

"IT'S INVINCIBLE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEE!" Fives wailed.

"It's head is ray shielded," said Hot Cakes.

"We need rocket launchers!" Freddie cried.

They continued to shoot at the worm thing and the worm thing shot back at them.

"Mayday, mayday!" Fives said into his comlink. "Rex we need rocket launchers OR WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

Rex was nearby on a hill with his battalion. "Get those rocket launchers over there NOW! So they don't die, y'know."

So the clone with the rocket launcher ran as fast as he could, but he ended up getting run over by one of the worms. "Take my rocket launcher, and remember not to kill unicorns!"

"Umm…"

So Hot Cakes took the rocket launcher.

"Go! Go, go, go!" Rex exclaimed. "Keep moving, keep moving!"

Hot Cakes continued to run with the rocket launcher. Eventually he came to the giant worm and shot a rocket at it.

It blew up in a big explosion of rainbows and sparkles.

Rex went flying. "WEEEEE!"

The worm continued to explode.

Everything was shaking and some things crashed.

Fives and Hot Cakes almost got squished.

"That was close," said Hot Cakes.

"You got a point there. WE COULD'VE DIED!" Fives screamed.

They climbed out.

"Everyone regroup, now! Take cover!" Rex exclaimed.

They all ran to take cover as another worm thing came to shoot at them.

"We're safe for the moment, but they'll be coming around any second," said Fives. "I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"Well, we have rocket launchers…" Rex then had a better idea. "Let's just put a bunch of bombs everywhere. That'll work!"

"Yeah blowing stuff up is always a great solution!" cried Hot Cakes.

So they all rolled a bunch of bombs across the ground.

Then they ran away to hide.

"Here they come…"

To get the worms attention they all started dancing again, and also singing.

"COME AND GET US! YEEAAAH!"

So the worm things came at them and Rex pushed the button, and they all EXPLODED IN DRAMATIC FIRE BALLS AND IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME- I mean yeah, it blew up.

Krell was watching them from the cliff.

Rex flew into the air by the explosion again. "WEEEE I CAN FLYYY!"

"We got 'em, we got 'em!" the other clones exclaimed.

"Good job. Let's mooove out!" Rex said.

…

The clones walked through the debris of exploded pink things and plastic apples.

One of the things began flashing.

"OH NO WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Fives screamed.

"It's just a flamingo, dude." Hot Cakes shot a rocket at it and it exploded and screamed, then died.

Then they shot some of the weird animal things that Krell is afraid of.

"Everyone KEEP MOVING."

They continued walking and skipping and singing lullabies.

Rex looked through his binocular things and saw a GIANT SEAHORSE! Oh wait it was a rainbow pony machine.

"We've got a problem!" Rex exclaimed.

The rainbow pony was GIANT, it was bigger than three houses and a goat. It started shooting giant balls of doom at all of them.

"FALL BACK NOW!"

All the clones ran back as fast as they could as the rainbow pony continued to shoot at them.

Krell watched from his lame place on the cliff.

"LIKE, WHAT ARE THEY _DOING? _THEY'RE LIKE, RUNNING AWAY FROM THE SPARKLY PONY!" He commed Rex. "CAPTAIN, LIKE, CONTINUE YOUR LIKE, ATTACK AND STUFF."

"We're overpowered! We need reinforcements," said Rex.

"AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEEE!" Fives screamed, running away.

"THE REST OF THE BATTALION IS LIKE, HOLDING THE ENTRANCE TO THE LIKE, HOLE THINGY. THEY'RE LIKE, PROTECTING IT SO THE MICE DON'T EAT IT. YOU NEED TO LIKE GET TO THE MALL!"

There was another explosion.

"Sir, we can't possibly-"

"YOU MUST LIKE, STAND YOUR LIKE, GROUND. DO YOU LIKE, READ ME? CAN'T YOU READ ME! YOU NEED TO READ MEEEE!"

Krell hung up.

A clone came behind him with the other clones. "I've got the dudes you wanted, Dude. Should I send 'em to help Captain Rex, Dude?"

"I'LL LIKE, TELL YOU TO DO IT WHEN I LIKE, WANT YOU TO DO IT. I'M GONNA LIKE, CALL MY GIRLFRIEND."

Giant surges of electricity flew over the ground where all the clones were.

"We're all gonna die we're all gonna DIE!" Fives wailed repeatedly.

"Keep the wounded as quiet as possible and keep Fives quieter than them," said Rex. "Alright, let's go."

"You can't be serious! I don't want to get eaten by kangaroos!"

"I used to think Krell was reckless, but I'm beginning to think he just hates clones!"

"The Captain is right, now let's move out."

Rex started to walk. Fives stopped them. "We can't take them head on. If we do, WE'RE ALL GONNA-"

"SHUT UP!" all the clones shouted at him in unison.

Fives was silent. "Well anyway, we need to find another way."

"You got any ideas?" Rex asked.

Fives shook his head a little.

"Then this is it!" Rex ran off.

"Ok. LET'S DO THIS!" Hot Cakes ran off after him excitedly.

The battle continued, and the clones shot at the giant rainbow pony.

A giant Christmas tree fell out of the sky and nearly crushed them all.

The flamingo riding the giant rainbow pony continued to shoot at them. They ran away.

Krell watched looking like he wanted to kill someone.

The clones continued to shoot at the giant rainbow pony but nothing was working.

The rainbow pony came and squished a couple people.

"Help me with the wounded!"

"We gotta get these guys out of here," said Kix.

After finishing dragging the clone he was getting out of the battle field, he started to go back.

Rex stopped him. "We have to leave them."

"We can't just leave them, sir!" Kix cried.

"We don't have a choice! That's an order!" Rex turned and walked away.

"You sound like General Krell," Kix stated. "Of course he's waaay more annoying."

Rex froze. "Look, Kix, it's much more important to save yourself right now. If we survive you can patch up the wounded later!" He looked through his binoculars.

"WE'RE FINISHED!" cried Tup.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" screamed Fives.

"We've still got some unicorn power in us, Tup. And Fives, BE QUIET." Rex looked back through the binoculars. "I've got an idea. But it's going to take fifty feet of rope, a dozen cupcakes, two water balloons, a gallon of maple syrup, three pencils, and a fire truck."

"Why don't we just find another way to destroy the tanks…?" Fives suggested.

"Oh. Ok, then. In that case, I have a mission for you!"

…

"CT7567, OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS, WHERE LIKE, ARE YOU?" Krell screamed through the comlink.

"General Krell," said Rex, "we've come up with a plan to infiltrate the mall."

Fives cut in so he could be seen on the hologram as well. "You mean _I _did."

"Yeah, whatever Fives, get out of my comlink!"

"WHAT LIKE TOTALLY IS YOUR LIKE PLAN?"

"I've sent two men on a shopping spree into the mall. The security officers will think they're there shopping, and voila! Instant victory." Rex was excited about the plan, even though he didn't get to do the shopping.

"WHAT? YOU LIKE TOTALLY THINK LIKE TWO MEN ON A SHOPPING SPREE ARE GOING TO LIKE, WIN, WHEN YOU COULD LIKE, NOT? YOU ARE LIKE, CA-RAAAA-ZEE!"

"Sir, the rocket launchers don't work on the giant rainbow ponies; and it'll be easier for them to just be shopping while the rest of us keep the ponies occupied-"

"CAPTAIN! YOU WILL LIKE, LAUNCH LIKE, A FULL FORWARD ATTACK, LIKE, IMMEDIATELY! AND LIKE, BRING ME A CUPCAKE!"

The hologram faded away.

"Get everyone together so we can stall this attack as long as possible. I'm trusting Fives and Hot Cakes to get this shopping spree done!"

…

"The second they spot us, I start blasting!" Hot Cakes exclaimed.

"They're not gonna see us! We're on a shopping spree, remember?" Fives walked up to the mall and walked right in. "See, they didn't even notice us."

Hot Cakes was silent. "Do they have a food court?"

The two clones went to the food court and ordered nachos.

"WAHOO NACHOS!" Hot Cakes screamed excitedly.

"Aren't we supposed to be blowing up this place?" Fives asked.

"Umm… are we? Can't we at least eat the nachos?"

"I think we have time."

_2 hours later…_

"YAY! I LOVE CAROUSELLS! YIPPEE!" Fives and Hot Cakes were in the mall, having the time of their lives.

Soon, they got a text message from Rex. It said:

"Where R U guys? It's been 2 hrs!"

Fives texted back: "Oh, we R just checking out this place. We'll blow it up now."

Back on the battlefield with Rex and the others…

Rex texts back, "Good. Hrry up." and put his phone away, right before running quickly away from the giant rainbow ponies shooting at them.

…

Hot Cakes and Fives walked around, looking for the perfect place to blow up the mall.

That's when they realized that they didn't need to actually blow it up, they just needed to find something to help get rid of the tanks. So they stole a couple of the little 2-wheeled things that the security officers ride and rolled away to where the rainbow ponies where.

"WHEEEEEEE!" Hot Cakes squealed.

…

One random flamingo shouted something that sounded like "I think I am a little girl!"

The clones continued to try and fight back, then suddenly-

Hot Cakes and Fives rolled over on the little 2-wheeled things.

"The big guns have arrived!"

Everyone seemed to freeze and watch as Hot Cakes and Fives rolled over very slowly at about 5 miles per hour.

Eventually, they just bumped into the rainbow ponies, and the ponies collapsed and died.

All the clones cheered.

"Atta boy, Hot Stuff!"

"IT'S HOT CAKES!"

Krell watched from the same place as before. "LIKE, COOL! THEIR DEFENCES ARE LIKE, DOWN! NOW WE KIIILLL DEM AAAALLLLL!"

The sergeant nodded. "All units move out!"

Krell watched with sparkles and unicorns in his eyes.

…

As they took captive all the mall workers, Rex said a word to the others.

"Despite the lame speed on those things, you saved us all."

"It wasn't so tough," said Hot Cakes.

"Are you sure? That looked BORING!" Jesse said.

Krell walked up to them.

"WHAT IS OUR LIKE, REPORT AND STUFF?"

Rex stepped forward. "Sir, we have cut off the mall's supply lines and that means no more donuts for the castle."

"YIPPEE! YOU WERE LIKE, LUCKY TODAY! WAHOO! CONSIDER YOURSELF LIKE, FORTUNATE AND STUFF."

"It wasn't all luck, Sir. A lot of men died to take this base."

"But I wasn't one of them!" Fives exclaimed and he did a happy dance.

"THAT'S LIKE THE PRICE AND STUFF. I NEED LIKE, A CREDIT CARD."

Rex clenched his fist.

"DISSMISSED! YIPPEE!" Krell skipped away.

"He's the one who will never realize," said Fives. "And yay I didn't die!"

**Hope you enjoyed it! I should be getting the next 2 up soon, because if I don't, people will kill me XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone! I am SOOO SO SOOOOOOOOO SORRY I haven't gotten this up sooner! I feel really bad about it... XD Thanks to my sister who pushes me to not procrastinate, and i PROMISE the last one will be up sooner than this one was!**

**Enjoy!**

**Umbara Arc Parody 3: Pizza of Dissent**

Message thingy that's always at the beginning: "The weird man crashes into walls, the crazy man falls over into a pit of lava and gets eaten by the dolphins who live in the lava."

"Invasion for DONUTS! Republic forces are totally having fun taking Arabmu, a magical planet completely filled with FAIRIES!-

Obi-Wan. Off my computer.

_Whyyyy?_

Because I said.

_Waaa!_

THANK YOU.

"Invasion for markers! Republic forces are having the time of their lives taking Arabmu, a planet filled with apples and rainbow ponies-

_That's what I said!_

Is not.

_Is too!_

Go away Obi-Wan.

_Waaaa!_

"Invasion for markers! Republic forces are having the time of their lives taking Arabmu, a planet filled with apples and rainbow ponies. Jedi jerk Pong Krell and Captain Rex lead the clone dudes on a constant attack by the fluffy flamingos. Krell's stupid and random strategies backfire, sending many clones away crying. Despite the Jedi general's reckless and crazy tactics, Captain Rex's squad captured an awesome fashion mall. This further makes the clones want to leave and get milkshakes instead of serve under Krell's command, dividing his men…"

"I'm a half," said Fives.

"No, you're a third," Hot Cakes argued.

"I CALL EIGHTH!" Jesse screamed.

"NOT LITERALLY DIVIDED, PEOPLE!" Rex shouted. "Now where were we…. Oh, yes…"

"The flamingos have stepped up their attack, Sir," Dogma (who we think is Freddie) said to Krell as they were walking.

"THEY, LIKE, TOTALLY, WANT THEIR MALL BACK! BUT IT'S MINE, TOTALLY LIKE ALL MINE!" Krell screamed overdramatically. "MAKE SURE LIKE THE SECURITY DUDES AND STUFF ARE LIKE LOCKED DOWN AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE I TOTALLY LIKE WANNA GO TO THE FOOD COURT!"

"Sir," said Rex, walking over. "There's a transmission from General Kenobi."

"I'LL LIKE TOTALLY TAKE IT IN THE TOWER. THE TOWER IS LIKE, MY BEST FRIEND!"

He walked away with Rex and Dogma. Hot Cakes went over to Fives, who was sticking an Arabmuan flying pizza with chewed bubblegum.

"Hey, how's it coming?" Hot Cakes asked him.

"Ehh… tricky piece of hardware. I'M GONNA DIE!" Fives replied.

"Krell's got Jesse baking muffins! I love muffins!"

"I'm still waiting for Krell to thank us for handing this mall over to him," said Fives.

"But we all know, I am a better baker than _you _are," Hot Cakes said.

"Whatever."

…

Krell entered the tower room with Rex and Dogma. He slipped on a cherry and fell on his face.

"AAAAHHH!" He screamed like a five year old and started crying. Then he got up and shouted, "WHERE IS HE!" He looked at the holographic projector. "GENERAL KENOBI, DO YOU LIKE, READ ME?"

The figure of Obi-Wan materialized itself from rainbows and sparkles. "You captured the mall! AAAHH I'm so happy for you! You don't know how long I've wanted to say that SOMEONE I KNOW OWNS A MALL!"

"THERE WILL LIKE, BE TIME FOR LIKE, CELEBRATION AND STUFF, WHEN WE LIKE, CAPTURE THE CASTLE AND STUFF."

"Yeah because we can ride the ponies and play with fairies and EEEE!" Obi-Wan squealed and danced around, then came back. "But it may be harder than we thought to do… their attacks have gotten WAY STRONGER and their long range missiles are forcing us to RUN AWAAAY!"

"I WAS LIKE, HOPING WE WOULD LIKE, TOTALLY CUT OFF THEIR SUPPLIES AND STUFF WHEN WE LIKE, TOTALLY CAPTURED THIS LIKE, MALL."

"It seems they're taking it from the giant semi truck in the sky-" Obi-Wan's holographic form began to flicker.

"LIKE, TOTALLY GENERAL KENOBI?"

Suddenly the projector exploded and Bluesaber3 materialized from the rainbows and sparkles. "YIPPEE!" The she saw Krell. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!"

Rex pushed Blue back into the projector and she exploded into rainbows and sparkles again.

The room was silent for six straight minutes.

"ANYWAY, THEY MUST BE LIKE JAMMING OUR SIGNALS AND STUFF…"

Obi-Wan flickered back on. "That was weird."

"Can't we destroy the semi truck?" asked Rex.

"We're trying, BUT IT AIN'T WORKING!" Obi-Wan wailed.

"WE'LL JUST HAVE TO LIKE, TAKE THE CASTLE LIKE, EVEN THOUGH THERE'S LIKE, CARROTS AND STUFF."

"They're _missiles_…" Rex corrected.

"I DON'T LIKE, CARE. WE'LL LIKE, MEET YOU AT LIKE, THE… Y'KNOW… THE MEETING POINT!"

Obi-Wan tried to say something else, but the hologram was destroyed into rainbows and sparkles again.

"OH NUUU! I broked it!" screamed the random clone in charge of the controls.

"DON'T LIKE, BOTHER. THEY'RE LIKE, JAMMING US AND STUFF. YOU KNOW WITH LIKE, ORANGE LIKE MARMALADE?" Krell then walked out of the room.

Rex shook his head slightly and followed him.

Random clones walked by with smoothies.

"HAVE THOSE STORES LIKE, SEARCHED FOR FLASHLIGHTS AND STUFF! I WANT THOSE THINGS LIKE LOAAADED!" Krell ordered around clones. He turned to Rex. "HAVE THE BATTALLION READY TO LIKE, TOTALLY, MOVE OUT AND STUFF, IN LIKE… FIVE MINUTES."

"_Five minutes?_" Rex exclaimed. "Sir, we need way more time than that!"

"BUT, I ONLY HAVE LIKE, 5 MINUTES BEFORE I LIKE, GO FOR MY 12 HOUR NAP SO I CAN LIKE, LISTEN TO THE VOICES."

"Then can we have until _after _your nap?"

Krell looked deep in thought. He closed his eyes. After a second he opened them again. "THE VOICES LIKE, TOTALLY SAID YES. SO GO, HAVE LIKE A TEA PARTY! EEEEP!" He skipped away and didn't even look back.

…

In the electronics store of the mall, several clones were playing around with random Arabmuan devices.

"Those missiles are like giant cupcakes with teeth. We're gonna DIE!" Fives exclaimed.

"What can I do? Krell only listens to the 'voices.'" Rex put air quotes around "voices."

Jesse started crying. "_Another_ suicide mission? I have to agree with you on this one, Fives."

"Why does it seem like he as it out for clones? Clones are people too!" said Tup.

"You're all like, overreacting. _Obviously_ I'm more awesome than all of you!" Dogma exclaimed. "And anyway, do you REALLY think that General Krell doesn't care about throwing us into the disgusting soap which reaaally smells bad?"

"I'm not saying that, but I do know that the soap smells GOOD," said Jesse. "I've never seen a General with this much of a nap record…"

"He's out of control! He's not acting like all the other Jedi, and he's gonna make us all DIE!" Fives screamed.

"Listen," said Rex, "I don't agree with anything he says either, but you are all acting like a bunch of cowards that want to sit around having tea parties."

"Sounds like Yoda!" Jesse said.

"Why don't we use these epic flying pizzas to save them!" Fives exclaimed.

"No," Jesse replied. "We're going to throw bottles of apple juice at them."

"We've been trying," said Rex. "They've got the whole thing protected by scary truck drivers!"

"But we've got pepperoni and anchovies! Everyone loves that stuff!"

"Not everyone…"

"IT'S EITHER THAT OR WE ALL DIE!"

"Alright. I'm in!" Rex exclaimed, and he went to go find Krell.

…

Krell was sleeping not very peacefully and talking to the voices in his sleep.

Rex ran into the room and started jumping on him. "GENERAL, GENERAL, WAKE UP! WAKE UP! ALL DUE RESPECT AND STUFF BUT WAKE UP BECAUSE WE HAS IDEA!"

Krell jumped out of bed and threw a popcorn ball at the window. It broke, and the popcorn ball fell on top of a clone. The clone got pressed seventy two feet into the bedrock of the planet.

"That was cool, do it again!" he exclaimed.

Krell was staring at the window. "WHAT DO YOU LIKE, WAAAAAAAANT YOU LIKE RUINED MY NAP! NOW THE VOICES ARE LIKE, GOING TO PUSH ME OFF THE LIKE, TWIRLY RIDE!"

Rex was silent for an entire hour.

"DUUUUDE," Krell poked Rex in the eye with one of his giant fingers.

"AAAAAAAHH it burns!" Rex shrieked.

"YOU SAID YOU LIKE TOTALLY HAD AN IDEA."

"Ooooh! The ideeeea." Rex made a clicking sound with his tongue and grinned. "We are going to attack the truck drivers with giant flying pizzas!"

Now Krell was silent for two whole hours.

"Siiiir," Rex said.

"SHUT UP, I'M LISTENING TO THE VOICES."

Rex was silent, and waited for another whole four hours. "Sir, are you done or what, I've gotta go to the bathroom."

"HUH? YOU'RE LIKE, STILL HERE?" Krell asked.

"_Yes_."

"OH, WELL, THE VOICES LIKE, TOTALLY PUT ME ON VOICEMAIL. THEY LIKE SAID, 'TOTALLY GONE FISHING, BE BACK IN LIKE, A MILLENIUM OR THREE.' SO I'M LIKE, WAITING AROUND FOR THEM TO LIKE, COME BACK," Krell stated.

"Sir, that's going to take forever. Can we just fly the pizzas? Pleeeease?" Rex asked very nicely.

"…WELL, LIKE, FINE. JUST LIKE, BE BACK BEFORE DINNER, OKAI?" Krell said.

"Yippee! Thanks General! You're the best! Well not really, you're an idiot! But whatever!" Rex skipped away. "C'mon, men! Let's fly those pizzas!" he shouted when he got back to the room where everyone was.

Suddenly, Krell burst in after him. "THE VOICES CAME BACK, THEY SAID LIKE TOTALLY _NO._ SO YOU'RE ALL LIKE, GOING NOWHERE. OK? YOU HEAR ME? YOU LIKE, HEEAAARR MEEEE?" he screamed in all their faces.

Fives burst out in tears.

Krell stomped away, went back to the tippy-top of the tower, and fell asleep.

Fives continued crying his eyes out. "I wanted to fly the pizza!" he wailed miserably.

"Well, I guess it's out of my hands now," said Rex, dropping all his written hopes and dreams of eating leftover anchovy pizza and skydiving with Fives.

"So that's it? We're just gonna jump off the proverbial cliff and fall into the proverbial planet's core which contains sharks and green pencils and pictures of terrible singers?" Jesse asked.

Everyone stared at him and was silent for two seconds. Fives then proceeded to burst out crying again.

"I wanna do our plan!" Fives wailed. "I don't care if I'd have to suffer the consequences! It's better than DYING!"

"You'd get your blaster taken away for a week!" Rex said to him.

Fives hugged his blaster. "My blasty."

Rex sighed. "If it were up to me and we had a ton of giant stings of licorice to tie up Krell and strap him to a pole and leave him there until something else happens, I would say do it. But as I already said, it's out of my hands, and the truth is…" He hesitated.

"What? Say it!" Fives cried.

"Your pizza tastes horrible," Rex replied, cringing at the fact that he had to admit it.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Fives wailed even more miserably than before. "How could you, Rex! I thought you loved my pizza!"

"I'm sorry, Fives. I just didn't want to crush your hopes and dreams like I just did right in your face, but I had to," Rex said.

"YOU SAID YOU LIKED ANCHOVIES!" Fives screamed.

"Oh, about that… I actually hate anchovies," Rex said solemnly.

"WHAT HAS THIS GALAXY COME TO?" Fives wailed.

"_ANYWAY_!" Jesse interjected. "If Hot Cakes can fly a pizza, anyone can, especially us!"

"He's gonna eat the whole thing before anyone can fly it," Tup said. "Can we just go to Pizza Hut?"

"But this is _their_ pizza recipe!" Fives exclaimed. "They're gonna love it either way! YOU ARE ALL DOUBTERS! ALL OF YOOOUUUU!"

Rex face palmed.

The door opened and Dogma began to enter.

"AAAAAHHHH! DOGGY!" Jesse shouted.

"It's _DOGMA._" Dogma continued walking into the room. "Uh, what is going on? And why have I been degraded to sounding like a robot?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Tup exclaimed extremely innocently.

Dogma just looked at him.

Rex decided to leave, and went to go see what was for sale at the food court at this time of night.

Fives followed him. "This is about more than the pizza recipe!" he exclaimed.

"Yes. It is about honor!"

"How is deciding on which pizza joint to get flying pizzas from considered 'honor'?" Fives asked.

"It is not our call. We are part of something larger, we are not independent of one another!" Rex replied.

"I'm sorry, I cannot just make some random pizza recipe when I know it's wrong! Especially when it's covered in steak," Fives said defiantly.

Rex looked at him. "You _will_ if you support the system we fight for!"

"I do support it! I do! But my pizza recipe is not just another pizza recipe! None of them are!" Fives turned around.

"Fives. Where are you going?" Rex asked.

"To make some pizza!" Fives exclaimed, and he left.

…

_A little bit later, in the food court of the mall…_

"Sooo convenient that they had a pizza restaurant here already!" Fives said cheerily. "All the ingredients, all the equipment…!"

Hot Cakes was making a pizza of his own. "I wanna put raisins on mine!"

"Eeeeewww. Rex may not like _my_ pizza, but that is going to be terrible," Fives told him.

"Fine." Hot Cakes dumped a bucket of jalapeno peppers on his pizza. "Take that, truck drivers!" he exclaimed. He shoved it into the extremely hot oven.

That's when Hot Cakes realized that he hadn't put jalapeno peppers on his pizza, he had put popcorn. Popcorn began exploding everywhere and filling the food court.

"Hot Cakes! What are you doing?" Fives shouted at him.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be doing it!" Hot Cakes replied, trying to stop the popcorn from coming out of the oven.

The fire alarm went off.

"Oh anchovies," Fives muttered.

A red light went on at the top of the tower. "Sir," said a clone looking over the controls, "there appears to be a disturbance in the food court."

Krell woke up immediately and walked over. He punched the clone out of the way. "MOVE IT, JERK." He pressed a button on the control board. "TROOPER! WHAT'S LIKE, GOING ON IN THERE?"

Fives pushed the other clone by the contact thing in the food court and told him "I've got this," with a grin and a wink. He went up to the sound device. "Everything's great here, General! Want some French fries?"

"OOOOOH YES YES YES! BUT, LIKE, WHY HAVE THE ALARMS BEEN LIKE, TRIGGERED?" Krell shouted.

"I- uh… it's just the campfire! Y'know, uh… marshmallows… and… scary stories…" Fives fibbed.

"CAMPFIRES DO NOT LIKE, TAKE PLACE UNITL LIKE, 3 O'CLOCK OR LIKE, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. WHO LIKE, AUTHORIZED THIS CAMPFIRE AND LIKE _WHY WAS I LIKE, NOT INVITED!_"

"I… uhhh… we are uhhh… it lit itself! Yes, it lit itself," Fives replied.

All of a sudden, the popcorn began to mutate and became firey balls of lava corn!

"WHO LIKE, IS THIS? ARE YOU LIKE, ONE OF THE VOICES?" Krell asked.

Fives didn't reply right away as more flaming popcorn flew past him.

"Alrighty, I've got this now!" Hot Cakes said. He dumped gasoline on the oven. The whole thing burst into more flames. "Aw crap."

Then the whole thing exploded.

Krell looked out the window at the food court. "I'M LIKE, GOING DOWN THERE!" he said dramatically. He put on a ninja suit and jumped all the way there, hiding behind trash cans and cardboard cut outs of people.

"I've got it! I've got it!" Hot Cakes declared. He sprayed the fire extinguisher all over the oven, and the flames subsided until they were gone.

"Are you crazy? WE COULD'A DIED!" Fives screamed. "Not to mention ruined our chances of carrying out this mission! Now we have no more ingredients!"

"It's just a malfunction! No harm done," said Hot Cakes.

Krell dropped from the sky and landed next to them. "HIYA CLONEYS! LIKE TOTALLY EXPLAIN THIS. LIKE, _NOW_."

"Sir-" Fives got cut off by Hot Cakes.

"We were attempting one of the enemy's recipes in this lovely food court, and what appears to be an enemy booby trap went off," Hot Cakes explained coolly.

"A LIKE, BOOBY TRAP?" Krell asked, not believing him.

"Yes, sir. The oven blew up, and had I not been able to heroically snatch the fire extinguisher from it's designated place on the wall, and extinguish the oven, something worse might have happened," Hot Cakes finished.

"IS THIS LIKE, TOTALLY TRUE?" Krell asked.

"Y-Yes, sir," Fives said.

"I WASN'T LIKE, TOTALLY TALKING TO YOU. I WAS LIKE, TALKING TO THE VOICES. THEY SAID IT'S LIKE, TRUE," Krell stated. He turned to Rex. "SEE, I LIKE TOLD YOU THE VOICES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOOOOUU!"

"But- sir, can we still keep cooking?" Hot Cakes asked. "All we need is practice!"

Krell shook his head. "NUUU. THE VOICES ARE LIKE, ALWAYS RIGHT, AND YOU ARE ALL LIKE, ALWAYS WRONG. LEAVE LIKE, THE FOOD COURT, LIKE TOTALLY NOW. LIKE, TOTALLY NO MORE EXPLOSIONS. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE LIKE, PRETTY AND STUFF." And he walked away with Rex.

"Nice work," Fives said sarcastically. "Now we know the recipes are good, but we won't be able to make them! We're gonna DIE."

"Oh _come on,_ that won't stop us!" Hot Cakes replied. "It's just 'procedure'. We can make the pizza, sneak it out on camels, and be gone before Krell knows anything!"

Jesse walked over clapping. "I thought we were gonna feed the truck drivers with the pizza, not burn the mall down," he said.

"Look," said Fives, "I agree we should go through with this, because I'm the best chef ever, so are you two volunteering to be my assistants or what?"

"I'm in! YIPPEE! I don't even care if I get my blaster taken away for a week!" Hot Cakes exclaimed.

"Making pizza beats jumping off proverbial cliffs, so, I'm in," Jesse said. "We just need a plan."

"Dude, I've been telling you all my plan for the past several hours. I ALREADY HAVE ONE," said Fives. "General Skywalker said that truck drivers looove pizza. Only problem is that these trucks are huge and the truck drivers live at the middle of them. So all we gotta do is give them the pizza from the inside."

"Oh. Well, that's easy then! Yay!" Hot Cakes cried.

…

Rex was walking around with some other clones outside the mall. "I want a full sweep of the parking lot. Look out for suspicious characters and no hijacking the cars."

"Awwww."

The other clones with him walked away, and when he turned around, he saw Fives approaching with Hot Cakes and Jesse.

"Fives, what are you doing here? You should be in the electronics section," said Rex.

"I found my assistants! We're bakin' pizza!" Fives exclaimed excitedly.

"Are you out of your mind?" Rex asked, grabbing Fives's shoulder. "It's a suicide mission. You're… ahem… gonna 'die'?"

"It's the right thing to do!" Fives replied. "And I don't care if you hate my pizza!"

"We have to try!" Jesse said.

Yoda appeared out of nowhere. "DO OR DO NOT. THERE IS NO TRY. Get it why does no one!" He groaned, frustrated, and then jumped on a trampoline into the sky and disappeared.

"It… sounds like you intend to go through with it…" said Rex.

"If you're gonna try to stop us, then don't bother because we're epic and you aren't! Haha! … _Are_ you going to try and stop us?" Fives asked.

Rex was silent for a moment. "I can't help you if you get caught, or if the truck drivers are allergic to disgusting pizza."

Fives sniffed. "I'll try and understand, but I think you're just mean!" He began to walk away. "C'mon, _assistants_, we don't need HIM!"

Hot Cakes and Jesse followed him.

Rex rolled his eyes.

…

Walking across the parking lot with Hot Cakes and Jesse, Fives relocated all their pizza. "Alright, quick, board the flying pizzas and get the boxes ready with the pizza for the truck drivers!"

Hot Cakes and Jesse nodded, and hopped onto the flying thin crust pizzas with gourmet tomato sauce, one hundred percent pure Wisconsin cheddar cheese, anchovies, and grape fruit snacks. The crust around the toppings began to spin and the pizzas took off into the air like UFOs. (that stands for unperplexified fried onions, you know.)

The pizzas began to fly away.

Meanwhile, everyone else was sleeping. Dogma was having a nightmare and woke up crying. When he finally calmed down, he noticed that Fives, Hot Cakes, and Jesse were missing from their beds.

"_Hey_," he hissed to a clone on the lower bunk next to him. "Hey Tup! Wake up! Hehe, I made a rhyme."

"What do you WANT, I'm sleeping here!" Tup replied.

"Where are they?" Dogma asked.

"Who? The coconut people? I thought I killed them all with a gilded bandage."

"No, stupid, you _know_ who!" Dogma hissed.

Tup acted completely normal.

"Don't tell me they're going to DISOBEY orders!"

"What? I didn't say that. The coconut people are dead," Tup repeated.

Dogma got off his bed. "You _know_ we have to tell the general."

"No! No, no, no, you can't. And why do you keep emphasizing 'know'?" Tup asked.

"_We_ have to tell him. There, how's that." Dogma continued, "if we know what they're up to, and we keep our mouths shut, then we'll be part of their evil plan of doom and get eaten by sharks." He paused for a moment. "Do you really want your blaster taken away?"

Tup just didn't say anything.

…

Rex was walking along, playing Angry Birds on his data pad, when suddenly another clone cried out, "Look, sir!"

He turned and saw three flying pizzas taking off into the sky. While everyone else ran off to do one thing or another, Rex just continued to stand there with a weird expression on his face.

Fives, Jesse, and Hot Cakes flew higher and higher into the sky on their flying pizzas.

"Eh, these things are trickier than I imagined!" Jesse said as his flying pizza wavered a little in the air. "I hope this is a good idea!"

"Well it's better than DYING!" Fives shouted back.

They all picked up speed and burst forward.

"You know I'm only doing this because I don't like Krell," said Jesse.

"Well, that's a good enough reason for me!" Fives replied cheerily.

"Haha! I'm just doing it for fun! WHEEEEEE!" Hot Cakes exclaimed.

They all continued flying on their pizzas.

"Whoa! What the-" Fives cried as hundreds of ships and objects came into view- Republic versus Separatist and Arabmuan. There were flying love boats, palm trees, rolls of tape, candy canes, and feathers, all shooting different things at different people. "Try to fly steady! WE'RE GOING IN! WOOHOO!"

Flying forward as Arabmuans shot at Republic ships, they continued evading fire from enemy ships.

"I don't like this! I want to go home!" Hot Cakes exclaimed.

"Easy, Hot Cakes, don't blast random objects like you did on summer vacation last year!"

"Hey, that was an accident!"

A couple Arabmuans flew right up behind them, and did nothing.

"See! Everyone looooves pizza so they won't shoot at us!" Fives said happily. He looked ahead. "There's the giant semi truck, follow me!"

"Let's do this!" Hot Cakes cried.

…

Rex was still playing Angry Birds when Krell came up behind him.

"LIKE, TOTALLY, CAPTAIN. MY LIKE, FLIGHT DUDE OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS, LIKE TOTALLY REPORTED LIKE, FLYING PIZZAS. THIS IS LIKE, ILLOGICAL LIKE ACCORDING TO THE LIKE, VOICES AND STUFF, SO LIKE, UHH… WHY DID IT LIKE, HAPPEN!"

"Sorry for the confusion, sir. I authorized the creation of flying pizzas in preparation for your attack on the castle," Rex said.

"YOU LIKE, TOOK IT UNDER LIKE, YOUR OWN AUTHORITY? WITHOUT LIKE, CONSULTING THE LIKE, VOICES?" Krell shouted.

"Yep! I'm sure it'll be good and stuff," Rex replied.

"WELL, I LIKE, WANT THE REPORT. AS SOON AS THEY LIKE, GET BACK! AND NO LIKE, PROCRASTINATING!" Krell turned and skipped away.

Rex was about to start level six hundred on Angry Birds when he saw Dogma and Tup approaching. "Hey, dudes! Where are you going?"

They didn't reply.

"I saaaaaaid, where are you going? Are you deaf?" Rex asked.

"We're gonna speak with Mr. Krell, because he's awesome!" Dogma said.

"Regarding what?" Rex asked.

"A… personal matter…" Dogma said.

"Why don't you tell _me_," Rex stated, "and I'll report it to the general."

"…On second thought, sir, it's not important," Dogma said.

"Yeah, it was just about what happens after he eats broccoli anyways," Tup said.

"Shut up, Tup. Oooh I made another rhyme!" Dogma squealed. He left with Tup.

"Yeah, that's what I thought!" Rex shouted as they got farther away.

…

Fives, Hot Cakes, and Jesse flew into the giant semi truck on their flying pizzas and flew through the first hallway.

"Ok, break time is over!" one truck driver shouted at another. "Get back to work!"

Fives, flying by with the others, dropped out a couple pizza boxes, and the truck drivers caught them. They ate the pizza and were so happy that they didn't do anything about the flying pizzas.

However, one of them didn't like anchovies, and contacted the head truck driver.

Another truck driver told him the message. "Uhh, sir, there's like, flyin' pizzas in the hallways."

"Impossible," declared the head truck driver. "The probability of that is probably somewhere around probably five million, six hundred and forty three thousand, nine hundred and three point two two two one seven eight nine four-"

"We get the point dude!"

Truck drivers began shooting at the flying pizzas with their rifles, but whenever the flying pizzas passed by they dropped pizza boxes with lovely pizza in them, and all the truck drivers forgot about shooting and enjoyed the pizza.

Fives and the others were about to get to another hallway which lead to the very core of the semi truck, which was what they were planning to destroy, when the door began to close.

"Why do they have to go and do THAT?"

"Can't we just ring the doorbell?"

"NO."

One giant pencil shaped missile flew out of the ship and destroyed the door.

"Tada!"

However, the shrapnel from the missile set Hot Cakes's pizza crust on fire. "HELP ME!"

The truck driver with the head truck driver had more news. "Uh, dude, we've confirmed that there are three flying pizzas heading towards the giant engine room of doom. Oooh I made a rhyme!"

"Strengthen our defenses!"

"…Uhh… what defenses…"

"THE DEFENSES, DUH!"

Fives, Hot Cakes, and Jesse approached the giant engine room of doom.

"We've got it locked! Prepare the missiles!" Fives exclaimed. "Fire missiles!"

The missiles were fired and began to fly rapidly towards the giant engine room of doom.

But just then-

"Activate ray shields," said the head truck driver.

"Roger, roger!" replied the one at the controls.

"WHAT DO YOU _WANT_!" screamed the truck driver named Roger.

…

"Ray shields!" Fives exclaimed as the missiles hit the shield. "EVERYONE STOP!"

They tried to stop the flying pizzas as fast as they can, and managed to stop and turn around, and began chucking pizzas at every armed truck driver which approached them.

They soon began running out of pizzas.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all… we're gonna DIE!" Fives screamed.

The rifle bullets of the truck drivers which didn't have pizza yet continuously hit the shields of the flying pizzas.

"Our shields are sure taking a beating!" Jesse said.

Hot Cakes took off his helmet. "We can't turn back now!" He jumped off the pizza and grabbed the missile shooter. "Cover me!"

"Hot Cakes!" Fives shouted. "Get back on your pizza!"

"Trust me! I've got a plan!" Hot Cakes replied. He grabbed the missile shooter again. "This is for the 501st pizza we made! Don't wait for me!"

"HOT CAKES, NO!" Fives shouted.

"You've disobeyed a lot of dumb orders today, so follow this one because it's epic!" Hot Cakes said. "GET OUT OF HERE!" He ran through the tiny hallway with the missile shooter.

"If I know Hot Cakes, we'd better leave," said Fives.

As Jesse and Fives began to fly away on their flying pizzas, Hot Cakes thrust the missile shooter and let it slowly drift towards the engine.

"Live to make pizza another day, boys," he said. "Live to make another pizza…"

The missile shooter hit the engine, and everything began to explode into rainbows, sparkles, fire, lava, and pieces of burnt anchovy.

Fives and Jesse continued flying away as fast as they possibly could.

"Come on come on!" Jesse shouted.

They just made it out, and the entire semi truck burst into the hugest explosion ever, and everyone stared at the wonderful fire.

…

Rex saw the explosion in the sky and cheered dramatically. "OH YEAH, UH HUH, WE DID IT, OH YEAH, KRELL'S A JERK, KRELL'S A JERK, OH YEAH, OH YEAH!" Then he realized Tup and Dogma were staring at him. "Never mind…"

Fives and Jesse landed the pizzas and jumped off into the parking lot.

"They did it!" Tup exclaimed.

"I just _said_ that…" Rex mumbled.

The two groups of clones met. "Where's Hot Cakes?" Tup asked.

Fives and Jesse removed their helmets. Fives started crying. "He DIED!"

"We couldn't have done it without him…" Jesse said.

Rex looked sad.

"Poor Hot Stuff," Dogma mumbled.

"Actually, it was Hot Cakes…" Jesse reminded him.

Then, three clones approached them. "General Krell says, 'LIKE, TOTALLY COME HERE YOU PEOPLE WHO LIKE, IGNORE ME!'"

Fives and Jesse exchanged a worried glance, and then Fives kept crying.

Rex went with Jesse and Fives to the very tall tower. "You wanted to… see them, sir?"

"LIKE, TOTALLY," said Krell.

Jesse and Fives exchanged another glance. One of the clones from the corner looked over at them and made a slicing motion against his neck.

"IT SEEMS YOU'VE LIKE, DONE SOMETHING COOL AND STUFF, BUT YOU'VE ALSO LIKE, DISOBEYED THE LIKE, VOICES, AND THEY LIKE, NEVER SHOULD BE DISOBEYED, BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE, AWESOME AND STUFF, AND YOU LIKE, AREN'T," said Krell.

"With all due respect, sir," said Rex, "the order to destroy the semi truck was mine, even though I hate Fives's pizza. If there's a punishment to be given, it should be directed toward me. I'm their leader, woohoo!"

"General, sir, Captain Rex is attempting to take blame for actions that were clearly mine!" Fives exclaimed.

"_Fives_!" Rex shouted.

"I request that you listen to nothing he says and punish me instead," Fives said. He looked at his blaster and sniffed.

"OH, YOU LIKE, DO, DO YOU? IT'S ON NOW, PUNK!" Krell exclaimed. "I WILL BE LIKE, TOTALLY CLEAR IN THE LIKE, PUNISHMENT WHICH ARC TROOPER LIKE FIFTY FIVE FIFTY FIVE FIFTY FIVE FIFTY FIVE FIFTY FIVE OH FORGET HIS LONG NAME WHO LIKE,_ NAMES_ THESE PEOPLE? AND LIKE, CT FIFTY WHOEVER HE IS." He looked straight at Rex. "THEY WILL GET THEIR LIKE, BLASTERS TAKEN LIKE, AWAY, AND THEY WILL BE LIKE… UH…" he paused for a moment and everyone was silent.

The clone in the corner tapped his fingers together a little and began to play elevator music.

The whole situation became very awkward as Krell stared straight at Rex while his mind was _clearly_ elsewhere.

This went on for about three and two thirds hours, and eventually Krell stopped breathing in Rex's face and stood up completely. "I LIKE, GOT NOTHING. LEMME LIKE, ASK THE VOICES. I'LL LIKE, GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT." He took a piece of paper and wrote 'LIKE, ONE PUNISHMENT. I.O.U.' twice, ripped it in half, and gave one to Fives and one to Jesse. "COME BACK LIKE, TOMORROW. YOU'LL LIKE, GET PUNISHED THEN. NOW LIKE, GO. BE GONE. SEEEE YA."

And he shoved all the clones out of the room and into the elevator.

**So, what'd ya think? Again, sooooo sorry for the delay! PLEASE REVIEW! I don't care if you hurl insults for not getting it up sooner. xD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oooook... this took a ton longer than I thought it would. I'm so sorry this took me so long! But the good news is, this is the finale! Finally, something that I can add to my list of achievements! :DDDD Please enjoy the final parody of Umbara! :D**

**Umbara Arc Parody 4: Craziness of Krell**

Message thingy that's always at the beginning: "Our action figures define our lethargy."

"While fighting to control the magical planet of Arabmu, Anakin Skywalker's FAIRIES!-

Obi-Wan. Again? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

_Hehe!_

Off. My. Computer.

_Nuuu. LALALALALA_

GO AWAY.

_Fine. Sad face._

_Thank_ you.

"While fighting to control the magical planet of Arabmu, Anakin Skywalker's battalion has been 'temporarily' placed under the completely careless rule of a jerk named General Krell. As Krell does not want clones to do their own plan and wants to always listen to the voices, many clones have quit, or called in sick so they didn't have to follow through with his plans. His men began to turn against him. Wait, didn't I basically already say that anyway… never mind…. Captain Rex struggles to put up with the ridiculous babbling about the 'voices', while still trying to assure his men that the plans will work. Under his command, Fives and Jesse disobey the voices, and decide to make pizza instead. Sounds like a good plan to me. Anyways, now they're gonna get their blasters taken away."

Rex walked up to Krell. "General Krell, I respectfully-"

"SHHHH. I'M LIKE, LISTENING TO THE VOICES. GO AWAY." Krell continued to stare out the window.

"Oh. Ok… I think you should reconsider taking Jesse and Fives's blasters away…. But the men are with you… some of them just think you're putting their lives in danger needlessly," Rex said to him.

"ALL LIKE, THE BETTER LIKE, REASON TO LIKE, SHOW THEM THAT LIKE, THE VOICES ARE LIKE, IN CHARGE. YEAAAH. LIKE, BESIDES. THE WEIRDO CLONES THAT LIKE DISOBEYED AND STUFF, THEY WERE LIKE, ALWAYS MEAN CLONES FROM LIKE, THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND STUFF, SO THEY NEED TO LIKE, KNOW THAT THE LIKE, VOICES ARE LIKE, IN CHARGE," Krell said. "SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE, FAIL AT LIFE."

Rex was silent.

"SO, YOU'RE LIKE, RIGHT. I LIKE, SHOULDN'T LIKE, TAKE THEIR LIKE, BLASTERS AWAY. IT'LL ONLY LIKE, WASTE THE LIKE, VOICES' PRECIOUS LIKE TIME. THEY'LL NEED TO BE LIKE, DISPOSED OF. PREPARE LIKE, THE BOX."

"Wh-what? But sir-!" Rex exclaimed.

"YOU LIKE, HEARD ME, _DUDE_. THEY WILL LIKE, BE PUT IN THE BOX, AND YOU WILL LIKE, DO IT NOW. OR I WILL LIKE, DO IT LIKE MYSELF. WITH THE LIKE, VOICES' HELP OF COURSE," Krell said, and began to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on the holographic projector.

Rex left and went to the separate section of rooms. He walked over to where Fives and Jesse were. "Fives, Jesse, I'm sorry; General Krell has ordered that you both be put in the Box immediately."

"What? But- how?" Jesse asked. "He can't do this!"

"He has authority to render punishment during combat," Rex replied. You could tell he was not looking forward to putting his friends in the Box.

"I can understand getting our blasters taken away, and sending us to our room, but putting us in the Box?" Jesse exclaimed.

"I tried to convince him that it's my fault, but he wouldn't let me," Rex said.

"Face it, dude! He's been using you! He needs your loyalty to control the others, or we'll just all DIE!" Fives exclaimed.

The door was opened wider and the guard clones approached Fives and Jesse.

"I won't let him get away with this," Rex said to them.

"Eh, don't beat yourself up about it. We made our choice. To DIEEEE!" Fives wailed and started crying.

"Yeah speak for yourself!" Jesse said.

"Still got your sense of humor? THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKING!" Fives shouted miserably.

"…Who said I was joking…?" Jesse murmured.

Fives sniffed. "Well, I guess this is it…"

…

Several clones approached the large cardboard Box. "Line up the prisoners!" Dogma ordered.

Fives and Jesse were led to the platform which was raised to the opening at the top of the Box. "Well, I've officially lost my sense of humor… and my candy stick…" Jesse mumbled.

Rex looked up and saw Krell watching evilly, grinning and clapping his hands in excitement.

Dogma walked up to Fives and Jesse as they stood before the Box. "Would the prisoners request to be blindfolded as they are escorted into the Box?"

They were silent.

"ANSWER ME! Oh fine I'll take it as a no!"

"I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma," Fives said.

"Alright, readyyy?" Dogma asked, getting ready to signal the clones to push Fives and Jesse into the Box.

"I never thought we'd go out this way…" Jesse said.

"Aim!" Dogma ordered.

The clones behind Jesse and Fives got ready to push them in.

"Wait! This is wrong, and we all know it!" Fives shouted. "The general is a jerk and he wants us to DIE! No clone should have to go out this way! We aren't stupid!" He started crying again. "We have to figure out what to do when we're told to do bad stuff!"

"Throw them in," Dogma said.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Then, several clones pushed the Box over and started jumping on it, crushing it until it was nothing but a pile of crushed cardboard and clone footprints.

"What- what happened?" Dogma exclaimed.

"They're doing the right thing, Dogma," Rex said. "Because if _this_ is how soldiers are rewarded for average pizza and terrible flying skills, then one day…. Eh, I've got nothing. But anyways, people shouldn't be put in the Box, so yeah, this is over."

"No! We have orders!" Dogma cried. "We have to go through with this!"

"Yeah, good luck, man." Rex turned away and waited for the other clones to finish removing the binders on Jesse and Fives's wrists.

…

Krell was dancing to a very fast-paced workout video when Rex and Dogma entered the room. When they spotted him in his workout clothes, they froze and stared awkwardly. Krell stared back, and ran into the wall. Well, he was aiming for the door to the closet, but missed. He ran into the closet, and came back a moment later in his regular clothes.

"You… wanted us… Sir…?" Rex asked.

"I LIKE, ORDERED THOSE CLONES TO BE LIKE, PUT IN THE BOX," said Krell, walking up to Rex. "YOU ARE LIKE, MAKING A MISTAKE BY LIKE, CROSSING ME- AND LIKE, THE VOICES, DUDE."

"It's Captain, Sir," Rex said to him. "Get it right for once."

Krell growled and hissed at Rex like a wild animal and clenched his teeth together, showing them.

"General, Sir, there's an incoming transmission," said the clone by the controls.

"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M LIKE, BUSY? OH LIKE, FINE. LIKE, PUT IT THROUGH," Krell ordered.

A clone appeared on the projector. "Sir, the Arabmuans have stepped up their defenses. We're holding them off, but they have stolen stuff from the mall because they're jerks. Anyway, they might dress up as clones and go around asking for candy and throwing pies at people." The pixel-like holograph broke into a million little chips as the clone faded away.

"WELL, I GUESS YOU LIKE, GET TO NOT BE PUT IN THE BOX AND STUFF. FOR NOW!" Krell shouted at Rex. "LIKE, LOCK THE TRAITORS IN THE LIKE, HOTEL OR SOMETHING. AND THEN LIKE, PREPARE TO MOVE OUT AND STUFF LIKE THAT." He entered the elevator with Rex and Dogma. "IF WE WANT TO LIKE, FIGHT THEM AND STUFF, WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO LIKE, FIGHT BACK THE SAME WAY. PREPARE LIKE, THE PIES! ! ! WE'RE GONNA LIKE, FINALLY LIKE TOTALLY TAKE THE CASTLE! WOOHOO!" he screamed. "OH, AND CAPTAIN, MAKE SURE THAT EVERYONE'S LIKE, AWARE AND STUFF THAT THE ARABMUANS MAY LIKE, BE DISGUISED AND STUFF, AND YEAH, SO YEAH."

Rex rubbed his ears after Krell's miniature speech. "Yeah… ok…"

…

It was a bright and sunny day as they all strolled away from the mall with cartloads of pie in every flavor imaginable- cherry, apple, blueberry, raspberry, pickle, peach, cream, banana cream, chocolate cream, chocolate peanut butter, pecan, walnut, lima bean, okra, pizza, chicken, mushroom, coffee, kiwi, strawberry, jalapeno rice, charcoal, rosemary, ham, ice, ice cream, ice milk, ice marshmallows, hazelnut, freezer jam, potato, carrot, sweet potato, pumpkin, fruitcake, beef soup, cinnamon, garlic, turmeric, cotton candy, root beer, watermelon, grape, salmon, mayonnaise, onion, eraser shaving, unicorn jelly, tater tot, tomato, Dijon mustard, alligator, chicken ramen, and many many others.

"Stay alert," said Rex, pushing a cart of the fruitcake pie, "the enemy has our armor, and is armed with pie."

"But so are we! We're gonna rock this!" said Tup.

"Yeah, but they may try to trick us."

"Oh."

They continued walking.

"WATCH OUT DOGMA!" Tup screamed at the top of his lungs.

Dogma looked down and saw a little squirrel hopping along innocently. "What."

"I've heard those things can rip off your heads…!"

"You read too many weird magazines," Dogma replied.

"Oh yeah? Watch!" Tup through a hazelnut pie at the squirrel.

The squirrel hopped up to it and ate the whole thing in one bite. Then it got a sugar rush and went crazy, gnawing down an entire tree in three seconds for no reason at all.

"Ewww," said Dogma. "I hate fuzzy creatures."

"I thought it was cute!" exclaimed a random clone.

"Yeah well I think it's GROSS," Dogma stated.

Suddenly, pies began to fly out of the air from nowhere and land on them all.

"We're under attack!"

"Where arrreee dey?" Tup shouted.

"I dunno I can't see anything!" Dogma exclaimed.

Rex turned to the others. "Get those pies up here now!"

A couple clones wheeled two of the carts of pie to the front lines and began catapulting pies to the enemy.

Pies exploded left and right as they hit random objects and clones.

"Anyone got a visual?"

"Negative, it's too dark!"

"I say positive, because I always think with the glass half full!"

"Good for you…"

"WAIT EVURYBUDDY HANG ON. I seez dem." Whatever clone was talking continued looking through his binoculars. "Yuuup… they're disguised as clones alright."

They all advanced a little, flinging pies towards the enemy.

It was a very intense pie battle. Many men were blinded by pies in the face and had to sit on the side because they were considered eliminated.

"Captain, where are you?"

"We're sustaining heavy stains! I hope this cherry pie comes off the armor!" Rex replied.

"That's… not cherry pie filling…"

"Yes, it is. Look." He licked it. "See, cherry pie filling."

"Whatevs."

Rex looked across the battlefield and spotted a fallen soldier, covered head to toe in cream pie. But that wasn't what caught his eye…

He ran over and slid the helmet off gently. It was no Arabmuan. It was a clone.

"What?" he exclaimed.

The clone jumped up and started eating the pie off him. "Dude! You're not an Arabmuan! Sweet! This pie is awesome!"

Rex started laughing, and then ran out into the battlefield. He got smacked by a lima bean pie. "Ow. Everyone! Stop throwing pie! They aren't Arabmuans, we're throwing pie at our own men!" He kept running by everyone. "Take off your helmets! Show them your gorgeous faces!" He took off his own helmet.

Some clones on the other side were about to throw more pies and saw Rex. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOAAA."

"THEY'RE NOT ARABMUANS, THEY'RE CLONES!" Rex continued to scream. He ran and tackled Cody, throwing off his helmet. "Look!"

They shortly stopped throwing pie and took off their helmets, staring back at the other clones. Several of them were covered in pie.

Then they all started laughing.

"Dude! That was awesome! I totally CREAMED you!" one clone cried, pointing at another clone and laughing his head off.

They all continued to laugh hysterically.

Rex found Waxer, who was covered completely in every kind of pie possible. "Hey, dude. Who gave you the order to throw pies at us?"

Waxer was licking pie off his arm. "Eh?"

"Who gave you the order?" Rex repeated.

"Ohh. It was Krell. Duh!"

Rex narrowed his eyes. All fun aside, this was not right…

…

"We all know who's responsible," Rex said as he stood before a group of clones, "for what happened out there. But what we don't know is why. Something has to be done. I know that getting covered in chocolate cream and peanuts is fun, but what I'm proposing-"

"OMG I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS!" one clone screamed.

Another gasped. "If you're allergic to peanuts that means I am too!"

"THAT MEANS WE ALL ARE!"

"Quiet down!" Rex yelled. "No one's allergic to peanuts!"

They all fell silent.

"As I was SAYING… what I'm proposing is highly treasonous. If any man chooses to opt out, do it now," Rex said.

Everyone stepped forward, signifying that they were on his side.

"From this point forward, we are entering…" he paused for dramatic effect, "the territory of the mysteriously uncharted. My orders are, we arrest General Krell for treason against the Republic, and against banana cream pie."

"YEAAAAH!" Tup screamed.

…

All the clones marched back to the mall. Dogma looked upset. Poor Dogma.

Rex and a couple others went to go release Jesse and Fives. He handed them their blasters.

"Oooh, yes, my sweet blasty!" Fives squealed, hugging the blaster tightly and accidentally firing it at the ceiling. "Oops."

…

The elevator door opened on the highest tower, and somewhere around 16 and a half clones ran in and approached Krell.

"General Krell, you're being relieved of duty," said Rex firmly.

Krell turned around slowly, drinking some chocolate coffee. "SO IT'S LIKE, TREASON, THEN? YOU GUYS ARE LIKE, LAAAME. THE VOICES SAY SO."

Rex drew his weapons. "Surrender, general!"

"YOU'RE COMMITTING LIKE, MUTINY, CAPTAIN- WHATEVER LIKE, THAT IS… HEY VOICES! WHAT'S LIKE, MUTINY!" He paused and waited for an answer. "….I GOT, LIKE, NOTHING." He took another giant sip of coffee.

"Explain your actions," Rex demanded.

"LIKE, _MY_ ACTIONS, DUDE?"

"For ordering your troops against one another!"

"OH, LIKE, THAAAT. I LIKE, FORGOT ABOUT THAT. BECAUSE SEE, I LIKE, SUFFER FROM SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS. AT LEAST, I LIKE, THINK I DO. IT LIKE, RUNS IN MY FAMILY. AT LEAST, I LIKE, THINK IT DOES… WHERE ARE THEY…. ANYWHOOO, I'M SURPRISED YOU LIKE, FIGURED IT OUT! Y'KNOW, FOR A CLOOOONE." Krell drank the rest of his coffee and threw the paper cup out the window.

The clones all moved a little closer, surrounding Krell.

"Surrender, general," Rex repeated. "You're outnumbered-"

Krell suddenly sent out a giant Force wave that crashed everyone to the walls. "THE VOICES! THEY RESPONDEDED TO MEEEE! YIPPEE! DIE CLONIES!" He took out his lightsabers and ignited them all. "YOU DARE TO LIKE, ATTACK A JEDI? A JEDI ON COFFEE?"

They all started shooting at him, but with his two double-bladed lightsabers, it didn't really get anywhere.

"I WILL NOT BE LIKE, DEFEATED BY LIKE…. WHATEVER YOU PEOPLES ARE. THE VOICES TELLED ME!" Krell ran for the window, crashed completely through it, and flew through the air. "WHEEEEEE!" He eventually hit the ground and ended his blissful dream.

"Get him!" the clones on the ground shouted.

The fighting continued, but Krell being the cowardly jerk that he is, he ran away throwing celery at clones and eventually hit in the forest of strange plants.

Rex, Jesse, and Fives ran out of the giant tower and began to chase after Krell, but were soon met by Dogma who was holding a gun.

"Hold it right there!" he exclaimed.

Rex whipped out his own blasters and pointed them at Dogma. "Lower your weapon, Dogma."

"Unless _you_ wanna get your blasty taken away too," Fives said.

"I… I can't do that, sir!" Dogma replied.

"That's an ORDER!" Rex shouted.

"It's my duty! I have to be loyaaaal." Dogma pointed his gun back and forth at everyone surrounding him. "You're all traitors!"

Rex put one blaster away and took his helmet off. "I used to think being a good soldier meant not taking cake from the secret refrigerator that's always in the lunch room-"

"SAY WHAAAT?" Fives cried. He began to run off.

"Fives, get back here!" Rex scolded loudly.

Fives walked back slowly and dejectedly.

"Anyway… that's how they engineered us," Rex continued, "but we're not droids. We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions!"

Dogma pointed his gun again.

"Don't do it, Doggy!" Tup exclaimed.

"My name is NOT DOGGY!" Dogma cried, but lowered his weapon sadly.

"WOOHOO!" A couple clones ran into Dogma and knocked him over. "Yay that was fun!"

"Take him to the hotel," Rex said.

"Troopers! Don't let General Krell escape!"

So they all ran off in search of Krell.

…

Strolling through the sunny forest as squirrels and dancing flowers sang around them, the clones continued their search for Krell.

"Anybody got anything?" Rex said into his comlink.

"Weeeell… somebody ate a rock and got rock poisoning…"

"Not what I meant!"

"Oh, right… negative, we lost him." The sound of lightsabers and blasters resounded. "Wait! He's too- powerful…! Throwing celery-! AAAHHH!"

They all took a few more steps, and Fives looked through his scopes. He saw Krell dancing around like a maniac, throwing celery at everyone and occasionally slapping them. Then he began to approach where they were. "He's coming!"

It was silent for a moment. But then…

"YOU SHOULD'A LIKE, TOTALLY LISTENED TO THE ARC TROOPER FROM THE LIKE, BEGINNING, CAPTAIN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA! AAAAAHHAHAHAAA AHHAHAH HHAAAAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHA HA. HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" Krell laughed hysterically and then started coughing. "LIKE- TOTALLY! NEED INHALER! AAAAHHH VOICES! LIKE- HELP MEEEE!" After finally getting his coughing under control, he started laughing again. "HE WAS LIKE, TOTALLY RIGHT! THE VOICES LIKE TOTALLY ARE USING YOU! HAHAHAAAAAAHAHHAA."

They all looked around, trying to see where Krell was, but they couldn't find him.

"AAAAAHAHAHAHHAA!" Krell screamed and landed right in the middle of all of them. He spun around and slapped them all in the face with a long piece of celery. "YOU'VE LIKE, ALL BEEN PAWNS OF THE LIKE, VOICES! BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE, AWESOME! AND YOU AREN'T! HAHA!"

"Get him!" Rex shouted.

"AHAHHAAA!" Krell continued laughing like a complete crazy person and kept throwing celery and slapping people.

He eventually put away his lightsabers and continued slapping people. Some he picked up and spun around before throwing across the planet's surface. He tossed Tup several feet in one direction.

Tup got off the ground and looked where he had landed. It was one of the little squirrels. "Hey little squirrel! You're so cute!" Then, he got an idea… "Captain Rex! This is Tup! If you can, force the general towards me!"

"What? Why?" Rex asked.

"Trust me, sir!"

Rex shrugged. What could go wrong? "Troopers, circle around. Lure him towards Tup!"

Krell saw all the clones beginning to go in a certain direction. "HEY! YOU AREN'T GONNA LIKE, GET AWAY! HAHA!"

Tup waited behind the squirrel, and when Krell came into view, he shot at him a couple times.

Krell deflected the lasers and started running towards Tup.

"Hey! Ugly! Come and get me!" Tup shouted.

Krell ran towards Tup, faster and faster.

Tup cowered back slightly, hoping this would work.

The little squirrel looked up at Krell as he ran, and squealed.

Then suddenly-

A giant piano fell out of the sky, and landed right on top of Krell.

Everyone looked up, and saw a clone who had been holding the piano on stage ropes. "My bad!"

Then another clone jumped on top of the piano. "DON'T STOP! BELIEVIN'!"

…

They all dragged Krell back to the mall, but it was no use really because he was already dead. They tossed him in the hotel anyways, just for fun.

"Well, that ruined my speech that I was going to tell him once we captured him," said Rex.

"Who cares?" Jesse said with a laugh.

"We didn't die!" Fives cheered.

A clone approached them. "Sir, we've repaired the transmitter, it was sabotaged. General Kenobi has finally, FINALLY taken the castle, but the remaining Arabmuans are coming here!"

"Get everyone on the perimeter! We need to prepare for a full scale attack!" Rex said.

"Yes sir!" He left.

"Well, since Krell is dead we don't have to worry about him escaping and turning over defense codes or something. He would've struck a crippling blow to the Republic. Good thing that didn't happen!" Fives said.

"Yep!"

…

Once everything was over, and the Republic ships came to pick everyone up, Fives, Jesse, and Rex were just standing around waiting.

"General Kenobi secured all sectors and blah, blah, blah," said Fives. "We did it. We took Arabmu!"

Rex looked out to some of the other clones, thinking. "What's the point of all this? I mean, why?"

"I dunno, sir," Fives replied. "I don't think anybody knows. But I do know, that some day, this war is gonna end."

"But theeen what?" Jesse asked. "We're soldiers! What happens to us then?"

"I dunno about you guys," said Rex, " but I've got a couple ideas…. Y'know, meet a girl, settle down… have a couple kids…"

Everyone else stared at him.

"What? ?" Rex asked, looking at them.

And the ships flew away, concluding another lovely day on the battlefield.

…

Hot Cakes was up in clone heaven, sitting on a cloud.

Just then, a very pretty angel went by, and stopped, turning to face him. She smiled. "Hey there, hot stuff."

Hot Cakes stared at her in awe. "Uh, actually… it's Hot Cakes."

The End

**And that concludes this issue of episode parodies! I am hoping to work on Emblem Star over spring break (in fact, my sis will probably force me to. XD) and NSNW4 too, when I get the chance! ;) I hope you enjoyed these parodies! Farewell!**

**~Bluesaber3**


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